Relocating, and Other Stories from Public Transportation

Many of my most memorable experiences did not take place at a destination.  It's always the getting there, the journey, that incurs the most fun.  Well, at least what I call fun.  You might call it hell.  It's all a matter of perspective.

The first time I visited Finland, I traveled by ferry boat from St. Petersburg, Russia to Helsinki.  Having hopped off at the ferry terminal and walked just a few blocks to the Russian Embassy to renew my visa, I distinctly remember hauling my luggage back out of the consular office, down a tree-lined street, sitting down in the sun on some giant moss-covered rocks, looking out over the Baltic sea on the horizon and the Helsinki city skyline, and deciding right then and there:  I'm going to live here someday.  I had been there only four hours when my heart - not my rational brain - seemed to commit itself to a pursuit of residence in Finland.  

That was in April 2010.  I wouldn't actually move to Helsinki to start my master degree until September 2012, but when I finally arrived I wasn't all that surprised to be back.  It just seemed right.  I struggled financially as a student there, working and studying 16-18 hours a day for the first year and still barely making ends meet.  But nevertheless I was genuinely happy.  I was exactly where I dreamed of being, in an incredibly beautiful city built around forest and sea and archipelago.  My school offered amazing facilities and opportunities at the low cost of free tuition, and my classmates were creative and inspiring.  And during that first year and a half I grew more in my personal life than I had since my first international move to Belgium six years prior: amid my intense lack of resources, I learned to rely on God completely for provision and in the process grew more spiritually than I ever had before.  It was in Helsinki, walking each evening along the seashore or riding a city bus across bridges connecting islands, that I found a quiet place -- not only externally but somewhere inside my own heart and mind. As I began to avail myself of those moments in solitude, I developed a habit of praying through everything that was going on in my life, laying it all out there in conversation with God.  And for the first time in my life, in that quiet place my ears became attuned to God's voice, to what he was saying, doing, and teaching.  I began to see my prayers answered in incredible ways, far beyond what I had requested.  I thought to myself, God will never take me away from Finland; this is my sanctuary. 

To Each Her Own Sanctuary

The landscapes are intriguing, beautiful, even breathtaking, but what really keeps me traveling is the people.  Like snowflakes covering northern lands, no two people are exactly the same; each twirls and soars and falls and lands differently.  Each has a different journey.  Through conversations and shared experiences, I love to discover all sorts of people.  But there is one kind of person that particularly inspires me.

This kind of person is found among both young and old, educated and uneducated, travelers and homebodies.  I've found them in every country I've ever been to.  It's the person who finds a passion, a purpose, and joyfully throws him- or herself into it wholeheartedly.  It's the person who finds what that special thing is that gives back even more in personal satisfaction than the work and time and money and energy they may have put into it.  As the author of this next excerpt so elegantly puts it, it's one's own "sanctuary".

Discover an Artistic Prodigy

During my time in Oregon this year I had the privilege of watching my sister Toreah complete several art pieces, expertly - and seemingly effortlessly - turning ideas into concepts and sketches and finally finished, tangible oeuvres.  At age 17, her ability to capture soul-stirring emotion while telling a story in her work is incredible.

When VANS shoe company solicited designs from high school students across the US, Toreah submitted a design under the "Local Taste" theme and, along with 4 of her classmates, has made it into the semifinals!

It takes 1 click (and no registration) to put your vote in, so check out some of Toreah's work below and then follow this link to support her by voting by Friday, May 9th for North Medford High School in VANS' popular vote contest.  She could win a trip to New York City, see her shoe design manufactured, and win $60,000 for her school's art program!   

When Dream Jobs Don't Pan Out

If you would have asked me what my ultimate "dream job" would be anytime between my fourteenth and twenty-first birthdays, I wouldn't have hesitated to proudly declare that some day I hoped to work for the U.S. Department of State as a Foreign Service Officer. I envisioned grand adventures of living in foreign lands, constantly learning new languages, and working with locals as a representative of the alruistic American people, for the betterment of their country and the betterment of the world at large. What I never imagined is that, at the age of twenty-one I would be flying to Russia to start an internship which fully embodied the responsibilities, prestige and adventures I had sought as a young adult and believed awaited me at the State Department.

"The internet is where people are."

"One year ago I left the internet. I thought it was making me unproductive. I thought it lacked meaning. I thought it was 'corrupting my soul.' It's a been a year now since I "surfed the web" or "checked my email" or "liked" anything with a figurative rather than literal thumbs up. I've managed to stay disconnected, just like I planned. I'm internet free. And now I'm supposed to tell you how it solved all my problems. I'm supposed to be enlightened. I'm supposed to be more 'real,' now. More perfect.  But instead ..."  - Paul Miller

If you’re like me, you’ve found that constantly updated web content is the archenemy of productivity. You may have struggled through the past decade of an increasingly web-based lifestyle, trying to find the right balance between living in the real and virtual worlds.  As a perpetual traveler, I go through phases of intensive internet usage in an attempt to maintain relationships with family and friends on the other side of the globe.  At other times, I disappear from the net completely, leaving loved ones to ponder my e-footprints while I’m off cavorting with indigenous peoples in the depths of yet-to-be-networked hinterlands.

These profound changes of environment have turned me into an "all or nothing" internet user.  It's either completely absent and irrelevant to my lifestyle - or I'm constantly connected.  And I've been all too connected during my past eight months in grad school.

When I read Paul Miller’s story, a lot of his motivation to leave the internet resonated with me.  But by the end of his odyssey-like essay, I was convinced that my presence and interactions online are a largely positive force in my life and for others.  The internet is where people are.  I have a passion for encouraging people; if I hope to make the most of this gift, I need to be where people are.

Next Speaking Gig: DoDay // Helsinki Feb 28

A few weeks ago Dreamdo's community engagement gal asked me to host an event for their DoDay.   Dreamdo is a Finnish startup committed to inspiring people to dream more and do more.

I've been using the Dreamdo web service for a bit over a month now, and I'm so pleased with the way their streamlined platform allows me to track and reflect on my own dreams, and also follow other people's dreams.  Here are two of my dreams that are most liked by the Dreamdo community:

- Building a tree house
- Writing a book about my travels

It's been really neat to get comments, questions, and encouragement from the people following my dreams, and I've so enjoyed the opportunity to contribute to theirs.  I can honestly say that, out of all the websites out there, this is one of the few that have actually increased my quality of life in a tangible way.  When I'm feeling overwhelmed with the tasks of one day, I take 5 minutes to review my life dreams, to see how far I've come and the huge possibilities still ahead, and I'm immediately re-motivated and re-inspired.

I'm really excited about the opportunity to share some of my experiences in a seminar / workshop as part of next week's DoDay.  Here's what I'll be speaking on:

31 Countries & Counting
I embarked on a journey around the world when I was 16. Alone. 7 years, 7 languages, and 31 countries later, it's no longer just a trip. I'm convinced that traveling can be more than a vacation. More than a moment you experience passively in an unfamiliar place. The most enriching travel moments take place when you're committed to an intentional and meaningful learning experience. 


Here's a link to the event registration page. Limit 10 people; we're keeping this group small and cozy for maximum dreaming comfort. I hear that a glass of red wine might be involved ;) If you're in Helsinki, you're invited!

U.S. Constitution Day

Today, Sept. 17, 2012, marks the 225th anniversary of the signing of our Constitution at the Philadelphia (Constitution) Convention in 1787. The best way to honor the day might be to read it.

UK is in Kentucky?

As the oldest of six kids, I'm know I'm under close watch -- not in a bad way, just in the sense that there are five sets of little eyes constantly waiting to see what I'm going to do, how I'm going to do it, and (hopefully) ready to learn from the things I mess up. I step back from time to time and try to think about how I can set the best example for all of them; what I can do to help set them up for success is this crazy, fast-paced world; and how I can encourage them to take off running towards what they really want to do in life.

It's not always easy being hundreds -- more often, thousands -- of miles away from them for 50 weeks out of year, and even with cell phones, texting, and the magic of Skype, I still haven't figured out a way to tele-port myself to my sister's soccer games....not even when her team won regionals this year.  But every once in a while one of them will do or say something that brings a huge smile to my face and lets me know I'm doing something right.

This note from my mom today definitely was definitely one of those happy occasions...

Shirah, I'm reading your blog right now. Raam just walked up and saw the UK’s Patterson Tower title under the pic you posted and he asked, “UK...Wait is that the Ukraine or United Kingdom Patterson Tower?”  I said, “Neither, it’s the University of Kentucky’s Patterson Tower.”  Pretty neat how all of your traveling has opened up his world.  

I left home when Raam was just 5 years old; I think all he's really known is a big sister who's constantly in strange, faraway places with weird names, always bringing home odd toys and souvenirs.  I never thought about it before, but we should really sign this kid up for a geography contest.  I LOVE that he has such a global perspective already at this age!

Where Children Sleep

Every so often a book comes along that really captures the soul of its subject.  James Mollison's Where Children Sleep does just that, and in an unconventional way -- by photographing the bedrooms of children around the world.

I read this NYTimes article about Mollison's new book, and, after browsing through the sneak peek photo gallery, look forward to purchasing a hard copy of the tome.

P.S.....I hear the cover's glow-in-the-dark.  All the more reason to add it to your library!!

The Little Team

As the big sister of a lot of little soccer players, I loved this short documentary.
Above all, it's coaches with attitudes like these that make the biggest difference in a young person's life!

l'equip petit from el cangrejo on Vimeo.

Dreaming of Sedona

This is the sort of photo that makes me miss the West.

Sunset in Sedona, Arizona

Developing Your Child's Self-Efficacy

While sifting through studies exploring the antecedents of entrepreneurial intent, I came across some statements that might help answer questions for some parents I've talked with recently. Although the following paragraph is cited in the context of an academic study, think about how the message would fit into a more personal, developmental context -- specifically, the development of your own kids or kids you often interact with.

"Actual abilities only matter if a person has self-confidence in those abilities, and also the self-confidence that they will able to effectively convert those skills into a chosen outcome (Bandura, 1989, 1997). Evidence suggests that general self-efficacy is central to most human functioning and is based more on what people believe than on what is objectively true (Markham et al, 2002)."

I get a lot of questions from people curious as to what my parents did that triggered something that drives me to succeed -- or at least try to -- in pursuits that they claim most people my age wouldn't think about and/or wouldn't try.  There are a lot of factors here, but two seem most relevant: (1) personality traits, and (2) family orientation.  


A lot of people who hear my story say, "I wish I could get my kid to do the same thing."  I think that what these parents are most often trying to say is, "I'd love to see my teenager seek out similar opportunities," but what they usually (perhaps unknowingly) convey in their attitude and speech patterns is a disappointment in their child, or a personal doubt in their child's capability of following through with projects similar to the ones I'm tackling.   I've always felt a little saddened by conversations like this, and I think that if parents could just see themselves on film, having this conversation with me, it might give them the answer to what they perceive as their children's "under-achievement" and "lack of motivation." 

I don't think I possessed any extraordinary abilities or intelligence that made me any more capable than most other 15 year-olds to sign themselves up to study abroad.  What I did have was an inextinguishable belief that I really could do it. 
I had self-efficacy.
And according to Markham et al., this counts for a lot, because general self-efficacy is central to most human functioning and is based more on what people believe than on what is objectively true.  

"So what" that I had never flown before.  "So what" that I'd never touched a passport, much less owned one.  "So what" that the only official paperwork I'd ever filled out was an application for a Safeway Club Card.  According to Markham, my belief deep down inside that I was capable was more important than any training I might have received on how to go about studying abroad.  It's that deep down belief that would drive me to spend 100+ hours researching different organisations, perfecting application essays, and conjugating French verbs.  It's that deep down belief that led me to work three jobs for over a year and save every cent for the trip.  


So where does family fit into this?  In my opinion, parents play a big role in developing self-efficacy in their children.  You are the ones they look up to the most from a young age, so your continued attention to and support of their every hope and dream will allow for them to blossom into confident teenagers with an ability to make and achieve goals.

I think that a unique and wonderful gift to me has been the fact that my parents have never told me, "You can't..." in response to an idea I've had or a trip I've wanted to take.  They may say, "we can't afford to sponsor this trip," "we can't go with you," "we can't wait 'til you get home," but they've never said, "No way, you can't do that." Instead, their response to my (sometimes naive and crazy ambitious) new ideas has always been, "That sounds really interesting, you could do that," and sometimes, "Okay, great.  Have you also considered....?"  

Just try it.  The next time your kid proposes an idea for a project, idea, or career they're interested in, listen to them.  Support the constructive brain activity that went into crafting the concept.  Tell them they could do it!  Then let that affirmation soak in.  After you've established your approval, consider diplomatically voicing your rational concerns or suggesting some new perspectives and alternatives. This is a surefire way to support the development of self-efficacy.


I'll leave you with a last encouraging word from the researchers....

"Research...has consistently emphasized the importance of self-efficacy as a key factor in determining human agency (Bandura, 1989), and has shown that those with high self-efficacy for a certain task are more likely to pursue and persist in that task (Bandura, 1997)."

So today's take-away:  If you want your kids to study abroad, make them think they can do it!!


----------------------------------------------
Disclaimer:  I am not a doctor, nor a child psychologist.  These are theories from my own experience and observation, and I will be glad to explain them further, but you should not sue me if your own attempt to test my theories ends in disaster.

One Step Closer

An email I received this morning brings me one step closer to my life-long dream of working for the U.S. Department of State.

Earlier this summer I applied for an internship in the Bureau of European and Eurasian Affairs for Spring 2011.  I was feeling good about my application until I realized that the Statement of Interest I had spent so much time developing exceeded the word limit by more than 200%.  I had to cut it down from 3 pages to about 3/4 of a page.  I was extraordinarily disappointed; I felt that the full version of my interest statement perfectly expressed my goals, skills, and personality.  After hastily deleting over two-thirds of the document in an attempt to submit my painstakingly prepared application before the deadline, my confidence in my chances of being selected for the program was depleted considerably.

Fast forward two months: It's August and I'm thinking about the school year ahead.  Just two days ago, I was mulling over my options for Russia next spring and feeling stressed by my situation.  It's somewhat of a Catch-22.  I simply don't have the funds to pay the travel and tuition expenses for a semester of studying abroad; I have been unsuccessful at obtaining an internship that might cover those costs; I have relentlessly applied for scholarships but have not been awarded a single cent; and yet I must study abroad during Spring 2011 in order to complete my thesis so that I can return to Belmont and complete certain classes that are only offered in a certain sequence and during certain semesters.  If one little piece of this complex puzzle goes array, I will fail to graduate on time.  It would be an understatement to say that this has been a slightly stressful process.

I finally came to the conclusion that I cannot do this alone.  I told God that if he wants me to go to Russia, then he will have to provide me a means of getting there because as of right now all I have are dead ends.

This morning I sat down to check my email after a dentist appointment that went surprisingly well. (Apparently I have good tooth genes, who knew!?)  I had one new message.  The subject line read: Spring 2011 Russia Internship.  I've applied to hundreds of companies, agencies, and organizations, so emails like this are common and rarely fruitful.  I opened it without a second thought.  It wasn't until my eyes landed on "possible spring 2011 internship with the State Department Mission Russia" that I became riveted to the screen. My jaw dropped and I thought, IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING?

Apparently it is. I have a phone interview tomorrow and I am thoroughly excited, to say the least.
Nervous? Perhaps a little. But I know that as soon as I have a chance to talk with the interviewer, the passion that I have for discovering new languages and cultures, for facilitating youth exchange programs, for fighting poverty through small business, for learning about foreign policy and foreign governments....my passion for these issues will come through in my voice and they'll know they picked the right person.

So here I am, one step closer to living the dream of a little 14-year-old girl that decided she would work as a Foreign Service Officer one day. Some dreams do come true, I hope.

Some things in life are the same in every language

This is so adorable, I just had to share. Even if you don't understand Spanish, you can't help but fall in love with this darling girl.

Platicando con Vannia 1 from Paco Gomez Vega on Vimeo.

I dream of Italy! (every night)

I've been dreaming of Italy all night long for over a week now. 


I see myself walking along a gravel path on the outskirts of Florence, passing low, dilapidating stone buildings whose roofs have been permeated, and completely replaced in some cases, by deep green vines.  

All the sudden I'm back in the little castle-town of San Gimignano, buying my favorite berry-flavored gelato from one of the innumerable caffes lining the narrow streets of the completely walled city. 

In my dreams I'm in the middle of Florence on Easter Sunday again, wrapped around some scaffolding several feet above the crowd, just taking it all in.  I catch just bits and pieces of passionately hurried conversations as more and more people crowd into the Piazzo del Duomo to see the fireworks and white doves released in front of the cathedral doors.  I am amazed at the size of the crowd, and the fact that most of them aren't tourists, but authentic Florentines who've come to join in one of the most celebrated traditions of the Catholic tradition.  

The sounds and smells are almost enough to fool me.  I wake up several times during the night, surprised and somewhat disappointed to find myself nine time zones away from Florence.  But it's only a matter of time before I'm whisked away once again into my Italian dreamland.  


This time I've landed in Pisa, and I'm lying in a large field looking up at that beautiful Leaning Tower, every so often closing my eyes as my entire body is cushioned by the softest green newly-sprouted grass I've ever felt.  A smile spreads slowly across my face when I imagine recreating the Leaning Tower of Pisa as my wedding cake someday.  

And then I'm back in Florence, window shopping with my mom as we amble over the old and famous Ponte Vecchio which connects the two ends of the downtown's main street. 

We're just a few blocks west of the Piazza del Duomo, which lies on the same street, just past the Piazza della Signoria where Michelangelo's David stands tall and proud.  This is just a replica, however; the original is preserved inside the Galleria dell'Accademia, also in Florence.

I persuade mom and dad that another scoop of gelato would really be in our best interest, making this the third consecutive day that I have consumed more than the recommended serving of the most delicious, creamy, flavored frozen substance that my taste buds have ever met.  

We're approached by many vendors, beggars, and others who'd like a taste of our wallets.  I giggle as I relive interacting with the very small accordion-playing Italian man who had a sense of humour (although he's obviously just trying to look macho in this snapshot).  

And OH!, the FOOD!  My dream takes a turn for the best as we sit down at our first meal in Tuscany...dinner :)  Platters of succulent meats, cheeses, fresh and cooked vegetables; large bowls of pasta; big prawns with a large eye to body ratio (the eyes and feet were served with the meal for our enjoyment); a giant plate of homemade lasagna with fresh parmigiano and crispy, buttery garlic bread.  Not to mention the wine. 

I must stop now.  It is 1:37am.  All this blogging is seriously cutting into my Italian dream time.  Are any of my readers qualified dream interpreters?  I'd love to know why I'm dreaming of Italy.  It is rather pleasant dreaming; definitely more enjoyable than the recurring dream where I'm sitting on the ground in a forest, watching ants crawl in a single file line from one end of a hollow log to the other.  The worst part is that when this dream shows up, I dream it for hours.  It just loops over and over.  There are never any new ants, they never carry any different-sized or different-colored crumbs, and they never stray from their monodirectional, single file line.  Enough said.  I would rather dream of Italy.  

Good night then. I wish you equally wonderful dreams tonight.